When 22-year-old James wants to tell his boyfriend something important, he avoids face-to-face communication and messages him instead; “it’s easier to talk about your feelings online,” he explains, “because you can quickly change the topic.” James is one of many New Zealand youth who strategically employ distance to enable an intimacy that feels otherwise potentially uncontrollable. Young people, including James, are also, however, deeply attune to how online emotional engagements entail their own pitfalls. In this paper I draw on Heidegger’s concept of dwelling, alongside Paul Ricouer’s theory of recognition and Emmanuel Levinas’ work on the “infinity” of the Other, to examine how young New Zealanders enact relationality online. Specifically, I focus on young New Zealanders’ self-described communicative practices, including their careful navigation of online emotional entanglements to maximize meaningful connection while protecting themselves from inter-personal disappointments and threats. I argue that young people are often highly self-reflexive about their attempts to open up safe avenues for emotional disclosure. In doing so, I ask what kinds of emotional ideologies are at play in young New Zealanders’ online (and offline) enactments of intimacy, vulnerability, distancing, and care.